The Couples Detox: A survival guide
FORMING A DEEPER UNION
A detox programme done as a couple can deepen the relationship in several beautiful ways:
1. The union deepens through mutually supported goals. Helping each other out and being supportive in a new or uncomfortable experience can be very heart warming. The challenges that come up during the process offer opportunities to be supportive and loving towards your partner.
2. A proactive and combined effort at home to improve your overall quality of life fortifies the very foundation of any cohabiting partnership.
3. Healthy and happy individuals make healthy and happy unions.
THE EMOTIONAL DETOX
The physical body and the emotional body cannot be separated and must be treated in a holistic way. We have molecules of emotion such as anger, sadness, fear and other negative experiences. These molecules are lipophilic which means they are literally stored in our fat cells. While we go through this process of detoxification and are actively burning up these fat cells, often times these negative emotions are released. Bad mood, aggravation, irritation are commonly experienced emotions during the detox process.
CHALLENGES AND ADVICES
1. During the detox process I strongly encourage you to be NON-REACTIVE towards any of the negative emotions either one of you may experience. This means not reacting to your own emotions or towards your partner’s emotional experiences. Just let them be.
2. This is NOT a great time to express yourself, to clear the air, to dig up the past or rehash old wounds. It is also NOT a time to project future fears, future desires or for relationship planning.
3. The time to do any of the above is AFTER the program: when you are clear, focussed and light. You may just find you no longer have anything to discuss. Or, you may find that what you do want to discuss can be expressed without the emotional angst, and that the right words flow right to you.
4. So, what to do about your partner if these rocky emotions arise in them? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Simply leave them alone knowing and trusting that it’s all very temporary and you will soon reunite with the best version of them at the end of the programme.
5. One particularly interesting aspect of being in the detox process in a couple is our individual need/pattern/dysfunction to “fix” our partner’s discomfort in order to bring comfort to ourselves. There may be instances where one of you feels great, and the other not so great: then what? Again, if you can, do nothing. In a couple the best approach is to gently support each other without getting too involved, needing to manage, fix or remedy your partner’s mood with non-reactive loving kindness and patience. They’ll be fine, now, back to you!
6. No matter how close you are as a couple; you are still completely unique individuals with your own needs as well as physical and emotional responses. It is very important to give each other space during the programme to go through your own unique experiences.
7. The detox process can also bring up REAL issues in your relationship (or any related emotions such as intimacy issues etc) that need releasing and possibly addressing and maybe even some professional advice. Your best approach is to keep a journal, write down all that is coming up for you and get back to it once you’re back on food and fully charged.
There are many additional tools provided for the emotional detox within the programme material. I’m always available to chat throughout any of my programmes and I’m happy to guide you into a safe navigation of the emotional detox experience whenever needed.
I have worked with dozens of couples and it’s always inspiring to see so many relationships deepen and expand.